The beginning of summer and a feeling of freedom and play for our inner being.
Another way to get a feeling of freedom is to let go of expectation. This theme constantly repeats itself in most people’s lives. In my classes most people struggle with the concept in regards to their partners, either current spouses or past partners. The one thing that creates pain is an attachment to form and building expectations. No one can live up to our expectations of them. The work is not for the other person to improve to please us but for us to let go of that person and love and accept them as they are.
Each time we build and rebuild expectation we open ourselves to pain and disappointment. The pain comes from our sense of love being unfulfilled. We feel loved when we get what we want in the form we want it. This means other people doing things our way. When we can become conscious of this within ourselves we have tremendous power to change this pattern within us. Awareness is always the first step.
Clients will say, “Your won’t believe what my partner did now!” or “I am hurt again by my partner.” Inevitably the partner in question is still being how they always were throughout their relationship, but we often do build up expectations that we superimpose on them to be different or to show up in a different form of being. This person has now idea and they have just been following their pattern. Suddenly they have caused hurt. But have they? The hurt comes from our own pattern of expectation that people around us will be different and the way we think they should be. This is really powerful when we stop to think about what we are doing ourselves and to ourselves.
Again, awareness is the first step. We hurt ourselves by not letting go. The three things that hurt relationship most are: expectations, jealousy and neediness. Are you leading with these in your relationship past or present?