April 2004, Message of the Month
I love this month as it ushers in Spring and new life. It is also my sisterís and my birth month so annually a joint fun celebration.
Viewing it as such it seemed the perfect time to look at unburdening ourselves. One way to do this is to let go of anger. The majority of people going through divorce feel anger at some point. It is a natural human emotion and yet the danger begins when we continually feed the anger and live with it on a daily basis.
There are a number of things that happen when we live embracing anger in our lives. The first is that we diminish our power to create what we want here in the present. Most of our energy goes to the person we are angry with, therefore, leaving ourselves with less. The anger, then seeps into all of our present relationships. We bring it into new love relationships we endeavor to create differently this time. The anger can also creep into our relationship with our children. Do we see our past partners in our children? Since we are angry at our partners does it make us angry when we see shared traits in our children? Do we really want to give our children our unresolved anger or blame them for their heritage?
The anger has a negative effect on our bodies. Anger unresolved for a long period, can weaken our own immune system. It can open the emotional door to disease in our physical bodies. Many people in my classes will ask, "why do I need to get rid of my anger?" The answer is simple and straightforward. You do not have to release it, but look at the life you will be giving yourself and your family if you do not do the work to let it go. Is this the gift you want to give yourself?
Under the anger there is hurt. The pain might be due to a number of things. We like to point at money, difficult partners and other things, but usually it always reduces to someone not feeling loved. We need to do the work to determine why we co-created a relationship that did not feel loving and did not make our world grander instead of smaller. Only by going through this process can we set ourselves free.
An enormous part of this process is forgiveness of ourselves and our partners. Most often people feel this "lets people off the hook." Lets clarify what the act of forgiveness is in reality. Forgiveness means that we are no longer willing to carry pain for something in the past either done by ourselves or another. It is releasing the past.
One of my favorite healers, Louise Hay, wrote in her book The Power Is Within You, pg. 92.
She remarks on her love for Emmanuelís book and a certain passage in it. The question to Emmanuel is:
"How do we experience painful circumstances without becoming embittered by them?"
"By seeing them as lessons and not as retribution. Trust life my friends. However far afield life seems to take you, this trip is necessary. You have come to traverse a wide terrain of experience in order to verify where the truth lies and where your distortion is in that terrain. You will then be able to return to your home, center your soul self refreshed and wiser."
All that we invite into our lives is an opportunity in each scenario to decide and declare who we are. We are that powerful! Our thoughts about our experience will lead the way for us and we can choose our thoughts. What do you choose? How will your life change by letting go of the anger and the past? Are you willing to give yourself this gift?
I Believe . . .