February 2006, Message of the Month
The month of love.
There are moments when I ask myself what do I really know about love?
I have a favorite book that I refer to when struggling with relationship issues or when I need inspiration. The book is Love Without Conditions by Paul Ferrini and it is a guide to unconditional love on a higher level. This book is on my bedside table at all times because I can open it to any page and receive insight and a message that is applicable to my life at that moment. In our culture, we place so much importance on romantic love but often omit the understanding of unconditional love in our relationships. Do we really know and understand what that is?
Often, we hear that one doesn’t reach that level of love until one has lived and remained in a long marriage of 25 years or more. I believe that unconditional love can be practiced in any relationship regardless of the length of time spent together.
How often do we offer unconditional love to those around us? Even with our children we give messages of conditional love. We can become angry or distant due to some of their behaviors at times. Most of us adults have been raised within this same model. Our spouses or significant others can elicit a reaction within us of anger or hurt because we take their words or actions personally and make it about us. We can also become attached to the form that love will take in our lives. Our attachment to how we think things should be can often undermine and destroy relationships.
When we can let go of expectations of people around us to fulfill something in us, then we can truly see them and appreciate their beauty. When we are fulfilled with ourselves and see our own beauty we can see others more clearly. When people around us do not have to adhere to some expectation that we hold for them, they are free to be themselves and we can appreciate them with complete freedom. This is one of the most liberating choices that is available to us. It is, as most things in life, a choice to live this way and to direct our thoughts to a higher level of being and living. When we live at this higher level of energy we attract a higher level of energy into our lives.
I have found in my life recently, that coming back to that place of surrendering to what is and not only surrendering but appreciating the situation and the people involved brings such peace where just moments before there was pain and struggle. This was all due to being attached to form in my life. If things are not going in a manner that I imagined (due to leaving the present and running into the future) I can begin to feel out of balance and that can lead to the pain and struggle. The key is to be in the present with appreciation for what is. Everything in our lives is here to teach us something about ourselves. Living in gratitude helps us to receive the gifts of the lesson without so much pain involved. There is always a gift.
Receive your gift everyday!